MCFR4GII
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Okay this one is a pretty long one!
requires a bit of time to catch up to where I am today.
Original E-mail 01/02/04
>From the desk of: Mr.louis coker Taylor Special adviser to Pre. Charlse Taylor, Email: tlouiscoker@yahoo.co.uk Dear Sir/Madam, REQUEST FOR AN URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP. After due deliberation with my Uncle , I have decided to forward to you this business proposal. We want a reliable person who could assist us to transfer the sum of Twenty Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars ( $20,500,000 ) into his / her account . My proposal to you will be very surprising, as we have not had any Personal contact before. However, I sincerely seek your confidence in this Transaction, which I propose to you as a person of transparency, honesty and high caliber. Let me first start by introducing myself properly to you, my name is Mr.Louis Coker Taylor Special Assistant to President Charles Taylor, the Former President of Republic of Liberia. As you may want to know and to make you less curious, I got your address from adverts in the business directory that portrayed your establishment in good light. I apologize if I have infringed on your privacy. You may know that My Uncle President Charles Taylor is Presently facing serious, Opposition from the LURDS Army (Liberia United for the Restoration of Democracy), The security and safety of my uncle is not guaranteed following serious support given to the rebels.View these websites: My Uncle is seriously scared of this development, he does not want to suffer the experience of our Former president, Sergeant Samuel Doe who died in the hands of Price Yomi Johnson Who brutally massacred Samuel Doe, this was as a result of support the rebel had from foreign countries at that time. Based on these developments, the various foreign banks Account of my Uncle is already being investigated and that of Switzerland has already been frozen. In view of this very unpleasant development, the sum of $20.5Million dollar has been Secretly moved to a private security vault for safekeeping. My Uncle Mr Charles Taylor is Presently in Nigeria for asylum, he has confided in me With this task of seeking a very reliable and honest person that Will receive this Fund into his/her account for the future Survival of him and his family since he cannot presently deposit Or transfer the fund on his name or that of his family members Name due to the present situation in our country. He may likely Face war -crime charges as declared by the United Nations in Respect of his alleged involvement in civil war in Sierra-Leone. This money arose from various compensation he received from the Companies that were involved in the sale of rubber, timber and Mining sale of diamonds. He has instructed me that whomever that comes to our assistance should be compensated with 20% commission While 5% should be set aside to defray any expenses incurred by both parties. The 75% will be for My Uncle Charles Taylor, as the Principal owner of the Fund. Part of his share will be invested in your country in any venture with your advice. Consequent upon your acceptance of this proposal, kindly confirm your interest by Email OR. Your indication by revert Telephone to me of your sincere and serious interest will enable me fax you the PROCEDURE FOR OPERATION If my line is busy, please keep trying you will surely get through. NOTE: In the event of your inability to handle this transaction please inform me so that I can look for another reliable person who can assist in this respect. It might surprise you why I choose you and trusted you for this transaction. Yes, I believe that good friends can be discovered and business like this can not be realised without trust. This is why I have decided to trust you for this transaction. you are further informed that every ones interest and security had been considered before you were contacted, so be rest assured and feel free to go into this transaction with us. But let Honesty and Trust be our watchword throughout this transaction and your prompt reply will be highly appreciated. Kind Regards, Mr.Louis Coker Taylor NB: Please send your response to tlouiscoker@yahoo.co.uk
Notice how "Price Yomi Johnson Who brutally massacred Samuel Doe" last time I checked you can't massacre a single person.
My Response 20/02/04
Dear Mrs Coca,
Thank you very much for selecting me for you programme.
It is hard to find generous people like yourself, I can see that me and you are going to be good friends.
I would love to help you in your quest to fight oppression and defend gay rights.
I believe before being able to dpo any business transactions we should get to know a little about each other first.
I shall tell you a little bit about myself , My name is Glenn Quagmire I am a big fan of Star Trek. My friends call me Mongoliod for shor.
Do you like Star Trek Louise?
I have seven brothers they are Doc, Bashful, Sneezy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Dopey and Happy.
Happy recently admitted to my father Bill Zeebub that he was a homosexual so Bill will no longer allow happy to join us for christmas turkey.
Only last year was my brother Bashful involved in a six canoe pile up accident losing both his legs, he is making a recovery now though as he can now walk two feet without our help.
Back to Star Trek, do you remember the one where Captain Kirk came face to face with Batman of the Future, and in the end it turned out it was really Adam West of the past using time travel techniques.
Do you have any photos of you and your family that you could send to us?
Thanks very much,
Please write back ASAP
May the force be with you
Glenn Quagmire.
Mr coker's Response 21/02/04
Dear Karl Hennigan,
Let me start by thanking you for your immediate response to my invitational business proposal, which I believe, marks the beginning of a lifetime success for the two of us. In other to proceed in this transaction, I want to make you understand all that is expected of you to enable you claim this fund on our behalf. My uncle have written to the Security & Finance Firm in Amsterdam Holland requesting information on how to redeem the fund in their custody as contained in the relevant documents that was handed over to me by my uncle. Considering the fact that he did not personally make the deposit himself but rather used me as a front and the next of kin and cousin they scheduled a meeting with me to ascertain who I was, thus requested to meet with them with the original certificate of deposit issued to my uncle and any other documents showing my relationship with My Uncle Charles. And for further instructions regarding how I got your e-mail address it was from the international chambers of commerce during my search for some one who will not be of any mischief or are you? Please if you wish to conclude this transaction with me, kindly give me your moral and financial assistance So that I can send to you the agreement prepared by my lawyer who has promised to assist us do the change of all the documentation to your name. The fund is still in the security firm office in Amsterdam and they are waiting further directives from me when I will be coming to pick up. I immensely await your immediate response, as it will be highly appreciated. The meeting with the directors has been concluded with my lawyer in attendance and all the documents, which I have in my possession, has being critically scrutinized and certified okay. It has also being agreed with the bank that a partner of My Uncle Charles will be coming forward for the claim for safe keep because of our present political unrest hence your involvement in this whole transaction. All I want from you now is to contact the financial institution where the fund was deposited THE CAPITAL TRUST AND INVESTMENT COMPANY AMSTERDAM CLEARING OFFICE so that they will personally tell you what will be required from you before the fund can be transferred. You can reach them on Www.capitaltrustinvestment.com for proper clarification. Phone Number:+31-630-674-246.Ext 8 If you are not satisfied with the terms and conditions please feel free to inform me. The bank has also insisted that either you be present in their offices in Europe Amsterdam or have it transfer via their online banking system, to avoid releasing the fund to the wrong person. I thank you very much once more and may God almighty bless you and your entire family. Finally i will need you to send me your private fax and phone number to enable me establish a better working relationship with you. Best regards, L.T.Coker
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My response 22/02/04
Dear Mrs.Coker,
Thank you for your rapid response.
You appear to have some confusion with my name. My name is "Glenn Quagmire" not "Karl Hennigan", This is the name of the company which I work for this is why it appears on all my E-mails. So from here on could you use my real name, Glen Quagmire. I also mentioned my friends call me "Mongolid" for short, I have no problem with you calling me this my good friend.
Thank you very much Louise.
Garlic bread?
I have tried to contact www.capitaltrustinvestment.com but their website does not seem to be working.
You can contact me on this number +447090203840
In my country before partaking in any business activities it is customary to get to know your associates before promptly assimilating them.
My friend Jerry Seinfeld advises me to ask you a little about your country. I trust him and he is a very funny guy he makes my spleen hurt with his jokes about amphibians and aloe vera plants.
Can you tell me the Country you are in and what the weather is like?
I'm also interested in your castles, tell me kind sir. Do you have many tapestries?
Can you send me a picture of yourself, and possibly with your family and humble abode (home)
Can you tell me a little bit about yourself so we can make business personal, I have to be sure we can trust each other.
Also what is your favourite episode of Battlestar Galactica?
If you can kindly answer this Question I will be as happy as Larry.
I have enclosed a photograph of me and my family to show you who you are dealing with.
Arsebiscuits. I'm eating a cookie.
You can contact me on this number +447090203840
I will be looking forward to your response.
It puts the lotion on it's skin and puts it in the basket.
Glenn Quagmire
Managing Director Giggedy
(Deceased)
(Note: The +447090203840 number is a scam number which calls you so you get a missed call, If you call it back you will be charged £50.00 per minute, This is also Legal. Who better to give this number to than Mr Coker!
If only I owned this number I could make a lot of money from Scamming scammers! Hmm. )
I feard that Mr Coker had either passed away or caught onto me! So I mailed him again.
Hello sir?
Are you still alive?
Are you not willing to continue our business deal? You could be missing the opportunity of a lifetime!
Please respond to my E-mails as I am worried for your safety.
Glenn Quagmire
Managing Director
(Deceased)
Here sure didn't want to miss the opportunity of a lifetime, maybe he does suspect but THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME! THINK OF THE CHILDREN! He Titled the following E-mail "KEEP FAITH" and as if by magic my faith was restored by the magical man from the mystical lands far far away!
Dear Karl Hennigan,
Sorry that i have not get back to you i have been very busy with my family.How is you family i hope that are all fine?
Let me start by thanking you in trying to help me get my fund out financial institution, i will like you to call the CLEARING OFFICE IN AMSTERDAM since you try the site and is not coming up,So that they will personally tell you what will be required from you before the fund can be transferred.
This is there CLEARING OFFICE Phone Number:+31-630-674-246.Ext 8. If you are not satisfied with the terms and conditions please feel free to inform me, The bank has also insisted that either you'll be present in their offices in Europe Amsterdam or have it transfer via their online banking system, to avoid releasing the fund to the wrong person. .
Mr karl i will like to ask you why is that you are alway puting (Deceased) under your name like this Glenn Quagmire Managing Director (Deceased ).
I told my wife about it and she said i should ask you because i told her that you are a nice man with a good family.That we will like to me your family if you can help us in geting our fund.
I thank you very much once more and may God almighty bless you and your entire family. I will make out time to call you to enable me establish a better working relationship with you.
Best Regards
L.T.COKER
Hmm he seems to have problems understanding why my e-mails end in (Deceased) plus he still won't call me Glenn Quagmire! let's clear a few things up
Dear Louise Coker,
I am sorry that i need to clear a few things up for you.
Are you actually paying attention to my e-mails? You keep calling me "Karl Hennigan"(Company I work for) when my name is obviously "Glenn Quagmire"(My name) that is my name.
My name is Glenn Quagmire that is why all my letters end in Glenn Quagmire.
I would just like to re-iterate my name is Glenn Quagmire and not the name you keep using, I know this may be a simple mistake but since I have already told you I am Glenn Quagmire many times, I get the impression you are not really reading my e-mails.
When doing business both parties should be 100% dedicated.
I shall explain to you the reason all my emails end in the way they do
Glenn Quagmire (This is my name)
Managing Director (This is my position in my company)
(Deceased) (This is where i would put my company but to prevent confusion I put (Deceased) would you rather I put [Insert Comapny Here] instead?)
It is common business practice here to do this.
In this current situation "My foot is on a spike"
Are your family okay? I am sure you realise that Family is the most important thing in the world, after money.
You are a very honest man and a true friend in these times in which we are living.
I shall try phoning the clearing office on *Phone Number:+31-630-674-246.Ext 8 *once I get home from the office.
Glenn Quagmire
Managing Director
[Insert Company Here]
He replied really Quickly this time! About 15 minutes later!
Dear Glenn Quagmire, Your mail was read and digeated.I also want to use this opportunity to thank you for your effort so far in this transaction. Please get back to me as soon as you are through with the financial institution.Stay well and remain blessed.
Best Regards
L.T.COKER
My mail was digeated! WTF does Digeated mean? Am I not down with the Lingo? In my quest for knowledge I looked this word up, it doesn't exist. Mr Coker is making up words to get back at me!
Dear Louise Coker,
Thank you very much for acknowledging the mistakes and digeating them,
I have tried contacting you on +31-630-674-246.Ext 8 so far I have had a little trouble getting through, I have a little problem with my telephone system there are people working on it so that should be fixed very soon.
I will continue to attempt to phone you on +31-630-674-246.Ext 8 hopefully we can get somewhere.
I had a smashing day at the office today somebody left a monkey in the coffee machine, so when John went to make some coffee the machine didn't work, Kathy and ruth just sniggered at him. I believe either Kathy or Ruth or both place the Simian in the coffe machine.
I also suspect internet pirates are stealing my bandwidth. I found a pirate flag on my desktop this morning with the words "Yaarrr now we has ye bandwidths! landlubber - Signed a pirate (And not John pretending)"
Some guy also went crazy in the office and starting threatening the boss in his office, next thing we know he walks out of their bruised and bloody with a trolley containing company equipment, I think his name was Tyler or Jack.
A truly marvellous day, fun was had by all.
I work in the office dealing with paper, stationary, egg cartons and general office supplies.
My brother informs me that you are a very kind trustworhy nimrod of a man, I would just like to know a few things about you.
As you know getting to know each other is A VERY IMPORTANT part of business procedure.
What is your Job?
How has your day been? Are your family doing good?
Tell me Louise are you a Golf player? What kind of music do you like? Are you a fan of the band A-Ha?
Please keep intouch I need your reassurance and good business to help me through these times of animal loving.
Glenn Quagmire
Managing Director
[insert Company Here]
At this point I Ignored him for a while as I thought he'd figured out i was playing him..Until I got the E-mail titled "I HOPE ALL IS WELL"
ATTN: Glenn Quagmire,
How are you doing?how is your family?I hope all is well.i sent you a mail if you have been able to contact capital trust investment since you said i your last mail that you will still keep trying.
I hope all is well with you and your family please get back to me as me and my family is worry about you since you have not been able to mail me since the last time i here from you.
I will keep on praying fro you and your family till we meet face to face after this all investment is done.hoping to hear from you soon .
Best Regard
L.T.COKER
Hmmmm So I replied, still referring to him as Louise, to which he seemed to have no problem!
Dear Louise Coker,
Thank you for getting back to me, recently all my communications have been screwed up, so I have been having super ultra mega mega uber mega problems with my e-mail and telephone system, the tea lady says that she will have the network repaired by noon, but she says that everyday!
I am beginning to suspect she may be embezzling my ferrero rochers and I am seriously considering firing her, as she is an incompetent jew.
My e-mail seems to be working again but I have no indication as to when the next wolfman will be prowling the moors in a hunt for human blood, luckily i have plenty of silver BB's for my pea shooter.
I still cannot get through to capital trust, I think it may be because I am a cracker but I am not sure.
Thankyou very much for your concern for me and my family, we are going through hard times right now when men of all culture need to love each other in manly ways, my brother Happy said he loves you very much and would love to visit you in the Netherland Ranch sometime.
Is there not another way we could possibly make this TRANSACTION? I hope business goes well, I would hate to miss out on such an investment.
Do you like fine wines and cheeses? I do they are GRrrrrreat! says my friend Tony Tiger.
I must depart now the wolfman is coming and the moon is almost whole.
Oh one final thing, I have discount tickets to Seigfried and Roy's Germany tour "Passer De Frankenfurter on De Leftand Side" do you want any? I can sell them for $4 (Four-Dollars) dollars each, or I can sell them in Bulk 1000 (One-Thousand-Tickets) tickets for only $27.50 (Twenty-Seven-Dollars-Fiddy) which you can then sell on and make many profits, as to purchase many tapesteries and nachos. If you are interested in these tickets please tell me.
I hope that our business transvestite goes well.
Glenn Quagmire
Managing Director
[Insert Company Here]
Someone wants tickets to Siegfried and Roy! Subject "WE DON'T HAVE TIME"
ATTN: Glenn Quagmire ,
I got your mail and I am hoping by know you most have contacted capital trust investment on how you can help my family and I get the fund. Please we are going thought hard time already.
Please I will be very happy if you can mail them on the contact below please I know you are going thought hard time like me and my family but I know its not fund that is your hard time for now.
Do you know that if you can contact capital trust investment and you are able to get the fund out? I believe marks the beginning of a lifetime success for the two of us. So see the phone and email contact below again.
Mr. Vincent Trad
OPERATIONS MANAGER
C.T.I
Ph: +31-630-674-246
Email:vincenttrad@capitaltrustinvestment.com
OR
capitaltrustinvestment@yahoo.co.uk
Thank you for the tickets if you can sell them for that amount and you can make some out please let me know so that I can have part of it too because I need some money at hand now. I don't know if you understand what I am trying to say that my family need you help.
Please get back to me if you can send some money for I and my family before you help us get the one with capital trusts investment (CTI).
Try and put your phone in order so that I can call you on the number. OR if you can give any number that I can reach you with I will be very happy
Best Regards
L.T.COKER
CAPITALTRUST INVESTMENTS AT YAHOO.CO.UK! DO ALL BIG BANKS YAHOO!??
I had to E-mail the bank now, so I did
Dear Banker,
I was told to contact you about investments by my good friend Louise coker, as I have had problems with my telephone communications.
Tell me what information must I provide to you?
I have attached an image of a cornflower to signify the start of our business relationship.
Glenn Quagmire
Managing Director
[Insert Company Here]
###########################################
For the past few months he has been an annoying twat, and I've just annoyed him saying the bank ignored me etc, I left them out coz they are shit!
###########################################
Today I thought I would revive the track, even if it means pissing him off royally.
so I sent this:
"Dear Louise T Cocker,
For some reason I cannot use the bank I keep getting problems, are there no other ways we can do this?
I do not Trust Capital trust Investment, they have caused me nothing but grief, plight and excrement.
They Killed my father and raped my mother.
Let's use my "Game Reward Card Account" instead I can give you the Account Details for my Game Reward Card:
Name:Glenn Quagmire
Account Number:1002 6687 6876 8
Loyalty Amount: 7.50
What can you do with these details?"
I forgot to stick a from Glenn quagmire on oh well!
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